a hard day and a sweet husband
Yesterday, I had a rough day. I was incredibly emotional and, yes, PMSing like no other (TMI?). I struggle with my self worth and loving myself on what feels like a daily basis. That's not something I like to publicize, but I do. Although it is not to an unhealthy point, I struggle with body image and learning I am worthy to be loved. I am not quite sure where this stems from, as I have been raised in the most incredible family who taught me to love and be loved, but I guess I, like many other people, find it hard to feel like I am beautiful or good enough. But I don't want to delve too much into the negative because this post is about strength.
I work everyday at learning to love myself, learning how to let others love me and many, many other things. Yesterday was just not happenin' for me. I cried and prayed and cried some more. Zach held me as I cried when I needed to be held and he listened to me when I needed him to just sit and listen. I am grateful for Zach and our every up, as well as our every down.
When we were dating, I made him take this 5 Love Languages test online. His "love languages" are quality time and words of affirmation and my "love languages" are acts of service and receiving gifts. We show each other our love in different ways. Does this mean we can't accept love if it's not our love language? No. Does this mean his capacity to love me is larger or smaller than mine to love him? Absolutely not. It just means we are unique and we show our love differently. We are learning the others love language, through trial and error, still to this day.
I am grateful for my husband and all our ups as well as each of our downs. If you haven't already noticed, yesterday was a down day; but Zach still managed to make me feel loved. He even went out of his way to end my day good by showing his love for me and putting a wedding band on my finger.
We had decided that I would have a wedding band a while ago but have been so busy that we hadn't decided when. It is a simple, gold band and I absolutely love it. I can't stop looking at my ring and how shiny and pretty it is! This gesture meant so much to me. I am grateful that through every up and every down, at the end of the day we are both trying our hardest to make sure the other knows they are loved. I am grateful for differences and how they can make us stronger if we let them and I am especially grateful for a loving Heavenly Father, who places people & blessings in our lives daily. Don't ever forget, not even in the darkest of times that our Heavenly Father loves us. Because I have and it just doesn't make any sense. Remember to pray! Because you are always heard.
(In case you were wondering what it looks like)
"Pray, He is there; Speak, He is listening. You are His child, His love now surrounds you."